The Meaning of Towelie

We all know that towelie is a pot smoking towel who as a public service announcement reminds you, "Don't forget to bring a Towel."

Reminding you to bring a towel will help you to dry off after a shower without needing to run back to the bedroom to get that towel you forgot. I've done this several times in my life and know the pitfalls of forgetting to bring a towel to the shower. But, I just don't think that this is what Towelie was really trying to help me out with.

Let's face it. Towelie smokes pot. And we all know stoners are forgetful. However, a lesser known fact is that stoners, as well as being forgetful are also chronic masturbators. I know several stoners who will admit to this. I don't need to tell you how messy that can be – especially if it is a chronic habit.

So, my theory goes like this... if stoners are forgetful and masturbation can be messy, then... "Don't forget to bring a towel!"




So True!!! I always bring a towel when I masturbate now!!

posted by Mike Ockislong


A towel is necessary item, especially at bath houses, but remember to color code your towels - dark ones for masturbation, light ones for actually wiping off water, else, out of the shower and then you're dirty again!

posted by Gizm Schmacks


I like a hot, damp washcloth. Lightly scented. And candles.

posted by Spanky D. Monkey


I sometimes use a towel after I screw my fellow Americans.

posted by George W. Bush


I don't need a towel after I howl, just a bit of chow.

posted by Sticky Fingers


I forgot what I was going to say. I think it Wait. What was it? Oh yeah! Uhh...

posted by Crusty Smudge


OK I got it! A towel walks into a bar...ummm...shit. I forgot again.

posted by Crusty Smudge


Right! A towel, a Jew, and a hooker walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says...dang it...I mean, the Jew says...fuck it. Are there any chips left in that bag?

posted by Crusty Smudge


I got it in my eye. Quick grab the...shit.

posted by Vertical Slit


Who needs a foul towel? Just catch it in your mouth and swallow!

posted by Sharin Matiddy


3:30 AM - Police were called in to address a loud ruckus at 666 Candy Cane Lane.

3:45 AM - Police arrive on the scene. Very loud banging sounds and muffled gasps heard from inside. Presumed domestic dispute. Officer Plankhard was overheard saying "Man, he's really going at 'er."

3:46 AM - Police enter the residence. Completely empty except for a single white male in a dimly lit basement, positioned in front of his computer.

More comments from the peanut gallery [Plankhard], "The whole place was covered looked like Pearl Harbor; sticky white matter was every-fucking-where."

When asked about the incident, the white male's response was "sorry, I was cleaning it and it went off."

The white male then asked Officer Plankhard to hand him a towel.

posted by Ken Alingus


I call upon towlie every time i am about to blow my load. He never seems to notice or mind what im doing to him.

posted by Jack Offasaurus


I prefer a young girl's tonsils.

posted by Phil Aitme


Or you could rub that love juice all over my creamy breasts. I've heard it keeps them perky.

posted by Candi Vouryourdick


Towel? Why not just use my hair?

posted by Amanda Blow


Swallow only if they are significant other wise use you color coded towel. btw, nuts on your forehead is called a unicorn!

posted by Ivonna Bendover


Depends on what the definition of 'is' is..

posted by BIll Doe


I can't find a towel long enough.

posted by Mike Ockislong


I used a towel last night!

posted by Don Keydick


I think it's the surprise facotr. When you're in a bikini, you have the mentality that people are going to look at your hot bod. You might even have make up and done your hair right.When you get out of the shower, you're in the bathroom, and completely not expecting people to look at you. You have no makeup on and your hair is disheveled.It's all about expectations. When you expect to be looked at, you will flaunt your body. After the shower, you expect privacy, so you don't want to be looked at.- Jun Loayza

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posted by toms sko salg


You are so wrong, the towel is used at your door to keep the smoke going outside the room so you don't get caught. Thats why he's always high.

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posted by


The joke behind towelie is the role of merchandising in the entertainment business, he's a towel because everyone (almost) use towels, he gets high because hippies are a group who infamously don't shower often enough

posted by He who ruins everything